Archive for January, 2009

New Year 2009

New Year isn’t something I exactly look forward this year. What if they gonna ask the questions again, ‘how’s your studies?’, ‘did you get good results?’ Thank God no one pop that question. So, this year, it was just a session of catching up, being amused at little nephew, eating eating eating and of course the collecting angbao part.

I was especially delighted to meet and catch up with a Christian cousin whom I especially feel connected to. He is one enthusiastic, warm, friendly fellow who recently got married to his girlfriend. Somehow its more than coincidence that we always met each other, be it we used to work at the same location in Science Park, and I bump into him numerous times outside. He is from New Creation church and is serving as the children’s church teacher. I really think it’s a blessing to have this on-fire Christ follower around among the huge midst of relatives I have.

Besides that, I think it’s cool that my closer relatives are all so easy going, down-to-earth and funny. Makes new year much more endurable.

It’s really a small world when I got to know another relative was working at a job agency which I recently went over for an interview. We chatted a bit about the agency, and I got to know the difficulties she faced at work there as well. It seems everyone faced and have their fair share of stress be it at work or at school. I really hate to admit it, but my stress comes from having too much free time on hand, wanting to do something, but stuck.

Perhaps God has a different plan that He wants me to go. As He has promised to be a lamp unto my feet, and a light unto my path, this I shall believe. But at the same time, will I obey and will I be willing if He reveals?

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ANTM

Just finished the last few episodes of ANTM cycle 10. One thing that I am really impressed with is the contestants determination and desire to win the competition. But also, no matter how much optimism they try to have in themselves, some of the comments from the judges really stung. If I were in their shoes (thankfully I am not), I would probably be very crushed (my self-esteem).

Some thing I really see in Whitney (the one who won), is that she tries to remain strong but she is in fact very weak on the inside. It just shows up in the nervous laughter, in bad performances and in all sort of ways, and eventually when she broke down.

It is really alike to everyone of us, don’t we? We try to remain strong, but we are actually very much struggling on the inside?

Thank God that God promises He will strengthen us. And when we are weak, we can take heart and be strong in God.

Because of this, we don’t have to act confident, or try to put on a strong front, or just pretend everything is fine. If we are weak, if we fail, if we have regrets, just admit it and move on. And we don’t have to be perfect either. If things get foul up by us, get over with it.

As the saying goes, everyday is a brand new day to start with God.

P/s to myself: I must try to sleep early… Perhaps one of my new year resolution is to sleep early.

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Confidence

Where does my confidence lies? In the wisdom of man? In the traditions of man? In the security of wealth? In the security of man’s approval? In the security of a job? In the security of a good degree? In my own strengths and abilities? In my own wisdom?

It doesn’t take a long time to find out that all these doesn’t give confidence for long.
Time and again, I have to admit that I need God, really need God to give me the confidence in my life. Where else can I put my total trust and confidence in besides the Shepherd who will never harm me or let me down? That His throne of grace alone is the only source of avenue I can approach with confidence, knowing I may receive mercy and find grace to help me in my time of need. (Heb 4:16)

God alone knows how I am formed. He alone knows me inside out. So long as I trust in Him, I shall be fine.

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Career

I guess I’ve been dwelling a lot in my world of discouragement this week due to the rejections I got from the job interviews. So, the interviewer says I am under qualified to be a secretary. And I am not strategic in my career planning. And I am not selected to be a patient care associate. And I did not get the HR job in the end. And to make things worse, I got scolded and condemned terribly for not returning a call on time which I hesitated because I do not know how to reject politely.

Somehow, I really got a bit depressed. Many times I asked myself, what would it have been had I just remain working in the lab. Maybe I’ll get a very stable job, washing test tubes and preparing agar plates everyday, walking around in white lab coat, looking like a nutty professor. Maybe I’ll always get that ‘wow, you are a laboratory scientist’ impressed look everytime I tell others about my career. But, do people know that a lab technician is a boring job? It is not only technically boring, it is intellectually challenging, and it will make me aged 10 years in a year’s time. From the handful of my Poly school mates who didn’t make it to become Lab Tech today, I guess I really didn’t make a wrong choice. And from the many complains of those who did become Lab Tech today, I am even more sure my choice is right. Anyway, even if I did get into a Lab Tech job today, my pay would have been meager for most of my life as I won’t be able to move up the Laboratory organization ladder as I don’t have the capabilities to go into the detailed study of Life Science, as compared to the Masters and PhD holders of most of the scientists in the field.

Or, did I? Or maybe I could try harder? I don’t know. But I don’t really have the passion to go into the nitty gritty details of the research of Life Science.

I want to go into an exciting world of events coordination, exhibition, or tourism or anything that is more happening than a lab-based job whereby I can predict how my life will turn out 24/7. I know many are condemning my decision. But I cannot be unsure of my decision. Even though the whole world don’t like my decision, I have to like my decision. Because this is my decision.

Fine! I like my decision, and I will still stick to my decision.

May all the negative thoughts flee from me this very moment!

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Fruitful Saturday

Today was intended to be a day of shopping at Ikea and Queensway shopping centre for Joyce (I mean, Ah Bee), and ‘Uncle and Auntie’. Intended to buy new year clothes and a new bed for Ah Bee. End up never buy anything at all. All we did was window-shop, eat, window-shop, sleep.

For the food, the Bukit Merah Beef soup is very nice.
‘Aloe vera’ taste-a-like taste just as fantastic.
Look forward to more next time.

Actually, the best part is the sleep (on Ikea’s bed)… and the relaxing rest on Ikea’s sofa… Ops…

What we all did was fruitful because…
James 1:27
Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world.

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3M Post It Notes

I love 3M post-it notes, especially the ones given to me by SHARON LOW LEH JUN. :)

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Unexpected Gifts

Receive a few unexpected Christmas gifts which make me feel very very blessed and loved. Even though my primary love language is not gifts, still it speaks aloud when someone give something. Especially when a gift is given with a sincerity of look, sometimes it can really melt a person’s heart.

One thing I really learn from Shiyan is the amount of effort put into presenting and passing the person a gift. When the gift is being presented like this, wow, I am just impressed and touched.

My primary love language is words of affirmation and quality time. But it doesn’t mean that when other love language is being spoken, people don’t receive it. It is the same anyway.

List of Xmas gifts this, or rather last year, from:
- Cousin Joyce: A pair of earrings
- Steph Peh: A cambodian handbag which really comes in useful for all occasions
- Shuting: Furry bag for putting whatever barang barang and a cute pen which adds a tinge of creative artsy into my room.
- Shiyan: An esprit bag for all occasions (with the price tag on it…)
- Stef Gui: Highlighter pen which comes in handy for revision
- Biqing: Notebook which is just what I need as a new sermon book
- Bifen: Bookmark
- Jenny: Almond power… (hmm?)
- Xueling: Earrings
- Sharon: Card and…
- Pauming: Self-help book
- Uncle & Aunt: Face mask & eye mask

I am thankful for all these big small blessings given me by people everywhere.
Last year 2008 through might not have been fabulous, but at least the ending is not that bad.

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